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A man and a woman sit together at a romantically-lit table
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AITA for getting mad at my boyfriend for expecting me to pay for our expensive dinner?
For background, I (20F) have a business that started making 6 figures a year and he’s (21M) working a normal retail job. I have told him multiple times that I don’t care about money, I’m fine with going on budget-friendly dates like a picnic or movies, and I don’t frivolously spend myself; I pretty much invest everything I earn except for an occasional small purchase like an iced coffee. However, he gets really standoffish every time someone compliments my business or brings up how well I’m doing for someone my age. He rarely buys me gifts anymore because he says “I can afford to buy anything I want” and he needs to “save for the future”.
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02
A man and a woman sit together at a table outside
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When there is a financial imbalance in a relationship, you have to take extra care that it's being properly addressed. You don't want to end up in a situation where one of you is resenting the other because of money. It's a common pressure point in relationships, but one that can be healed with proper communication. In this story, though, the man clearly resented his girlfriend for earning more money than he did. It wasn't her fault, but she was paying the price. Literally. Keep scrolling to see what happened between them and how it escalated to an uncomfortable degree.
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That’s fine with me, obviously I don’t want to drain him financially. But the issue I have is that now he wants ME to pay for everything. When we uber to the bars in the city he complains how expensive ubers are so I pay, he asked if I could fill his car with gas when we were driving to the beach, asked me to buy my own drinks because they were $20 each and that’s too expensive, etc, etc. Yesterday, he invited me out to dinner, told me to dress nice, and drove us to a really upscale restaurant. It’s been a while since we went on a date so I was really excited, though a little concerned when he started ordering a bunch of expensive starters (like $70 caviar bites) and a $150 steak for his main. I chalked it up to him saving up for a couple weeks for this occasion, but still didn’t want to make him pay too much so I ordered one of the more affordable dishes on the menu.
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A man looks at a woman on a date
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Nobody wants to be a financial burden to their partner, but that's exactly what was happening here. The boyfriend in this story came to rely on his partner to pay for things, and she was clearly uncomfortable with that expectation. It came to a head when they were at dinner together. If it was his idea, and he was ordering expensive food, then clearly he should be paying for it. But that's not what happened. Keep scrolling to see what unfolded, and then let us know in the comments what you think about it.
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Long story short, the bill comes, he takes one look and his eyes widen a bit. Then he casually asks if he can pay with my card.
I kinda laugh a little and ask why he took me to an expensive restaurant if he couldn’t afford it. He does a whole speech about how it’s not a lot of money for me if I made xxxx this week and how it’s a lot for him blah blah blah. I get p***** and say he should’ve told me ahead of time he wanted me to pay and not ordered so many expensive things. We get in an argument that ends with me paying the bill and leaving him at the table.Now he keeps texting me calling me an ******* saying he just feels insecure and like he’s not good enough for me. I don’t want him to feel that way and feel like maybe I overreacted? AITA?
-u/LovelyMelXo
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